Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
