I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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