i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
there is glitter all over my balls
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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