The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
