so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
