You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Ketchup is God's man juice
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
