lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
