Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
