I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
