all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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