the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
