addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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