Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
