All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
