This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
