are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
its not stalking. its research.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
