Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
