I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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