i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
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