I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
