Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
