Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
