I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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