saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just puked most of my soul out..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
