I think scott just propositioned me for sex
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
