Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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