I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
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then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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