But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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