We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
