OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
