Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
