She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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