his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
