Sponge bath it is.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
