I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
