I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
