i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
