She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
