you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
