The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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