Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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