maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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