i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
