omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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