Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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