In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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