I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
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She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
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He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.