I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
