Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize