oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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