No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
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And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
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Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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