i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
