He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
