I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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