like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
