I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we're making bets on your personal life
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
