left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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