if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
