you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
