Already got asked if we're dating
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She's just so happy...and so naked.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
