did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
