Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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