hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
