You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize