I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
