Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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